I Am a Cat

My name is Zoey, and I am getting fat, because my Mommy and Daddy feed me too much, and I am incredibly lazy. I am even lazier than Dad, and that's not easy. Oh, and I am spoiled, too. Look at how I have Mommy wrapped around my fingers, errr, claws. But my favorite thing in the whole world is to rip up Daddy's workout shirts because he smells so good... I mean bad, ahhh, strong. Yes, that's it.

My second favorite thing is this carrying-around thing that I've trained Mommy to do. All I have to do is meow really desperate-sounding, and then she picks me up (out of guilt, perhaps, for not feeding me enough?), and hugs me tight. It makes me feel really warm and cared for. Mommy loves me soooo much.

Mommy and Daddy are getting married soon, and she wants me to fly to Portland to be in the wedding. Course anyone knows that flying is for birds, and all I want to do with birds is to make them my close friends (close enough to eat). Mommy and Daddy keep talking about getting something called a dog, and whatever that is, it will either be taught to hold me like I want, or I will shred it's shirt...

And my Jessica is coming up to see me soon. Yeah!!

Zoey